Monthly Archives

January 2017

My Life

Mother’s Guilt…

I searched high and low for the definition of “mother’s guilt” and I really couldn’t find one. I read countless articles from reputable journalists and bloggers (like myself) and I came to the conclusion that “mother’s guilt” can be best described as: working women who constantly feel that they are not doing a good-enough job as a mother because they are trying to get ahead professionally.

Since returning to work, not once have I felt guilty. Not one bit. I feel horrible writing that – but it’s true. I have always wanted to be a wife, mother and a professional and becoming a mother was not going to stop my professional aspirations.

I felt strongly about this until I started preparing for my first overnight trip away from baby and hubby. I was heading interstate for one day and night. It’s like baby-girl sensed something – that I was leaving her. Yes – she was watching me pack my clothes, make up and shoes so she was able to put two and two together. As my over night bag filled she cried and cried and cried. She was inconsolable – the only thing that would stop her from crying was when I would hold her. Which was impossible to do because I desperately needed to pack and time was against us. My heart was sinking to my stomach as I fought back my own tears.

Her cries, her tears, her look of absolute devastation had me feeling all types of way. It’s then that for the first time ever mother’s guilt entered my life. This was a new feeling for me. Such an inconvenient time to pop up too, I was hours away from leaving them alone for the first time.

This feeling really threw me – for a moment I even contemplated cancelling the trip. I thought to myself “What if I just got a mind numbing job that would allow me to be a at my daughters beck and call?”

Deep down, though, I knew that by doing that I wouldn’t be true to myself. Once upon a time my job was my life. Even now as a mother my professional life fulfils me and allows me to make use of the qualifications, skills and experience I spent a decade amassing.

With that I pulled myself out of my feelings. I knew that sooner or later baby girl and I would have to spend a night apart, it just happens to be right at this moment. I mean, it’s not like I am leaving her with a stranger. She will be with her father. I imagined many different scenarios, but whatever happens when mommy is away they will work it out.

If we were to flip the coin to see the other side – I won’t lie – I am excited about my first chance to sleep through the whole night with zero interruptions. I’m certain that when I wake up I won’t even know myself.

Thank god for FaceTime! I will be checking in on my babies to make sure things are running smoothly.

I wrote this blog post as a reminder to myself and other women feeling the same way, so that they can learn to recognize mother’s guilt when it pops up. At the same time, I refuse to entertain it. Personally speaking, my mother worked when we were growing up. My grandmother worked whilst my mum was growing up and we are all fine. I want my daughter to see her mother working so she too can aspire to follow her dreams.


IamTinashe

Guest Blogger

Six Key Questions…

If you read my last blog post you would know that I have recently started a new role – so I have been busy getting into the swing of things.

There is really no room for excuses content must still be uploaded for your viewing pleasure. Which brings me to this months Guest Blogger segment. You guys don’t know this but our guest blogger is working hard behind the scenes as IamTinashe.com’s Creative Director. After years of begging she has finally decided to grace us with her presence and take centre stage as out guest blogger!

Introducing Ta…..

You don’t have to wait till January 1st to take stock of your journey in life thus far. As this month’s guest blogger my aim is to share my thoughts on how to take an introspective look at yourself. Six key questions can help you discover the who, what, when, where, how, and why you are you! The title of this post is an ode to Brandy and makes me think of the past 30 years of my existence and what life has taught me. The question (for me) is overwhelmingly clear- who am I to myself?? I guess I‘ll jump right in!

Who am I?

What identifies you.

Are you a wife (or a husband for our male readers)? A mother or father? A CEO? An artist? A free spirit? What is the essence of you? I am an ‘86 baby who has been driven and motivated by faith, family, close friends and life’s lessons to achieve and become the individual I am today – a daughter; a sister; a wife to be; a friend and a pet owner (read: mother). I am a woman who has accepted all of me and is still learning more with each day that passes.

What am I?

Define your role in your own life.

Your passion- your profession! This could be two-in-one (not the blanket) if you’re one of life’s lucky individuals who has found passion in their profession. I’m a qualified Town Planner, a Commerce graduate, and a Professional Services Consultant. So, I am not what I thought i was going to be (a policy officer/chef), instead I am what God intended me to be (a Boss Lady).

When am I?

Look at your position at this point in time in your life.

Confusing, I know. This didn’t make sense to me either. Until I thought about it. At what point in your life’s timeline are you? We plan where we want to be by a specific time- a manager by age 30; a wife/husband by 32; a parent by 34. Where are you in your life’s timeline?  I am current – I remember my past, where I have come from, what I wanted to achieve by now, and I can plan and see my future and where I am going. I am where I want to be. Appreciate every glorious triumph and every tragic set back and how each has brought you to this exact moment.

Where am I?

Where are you located mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally?

This allows you to reflect on where you want to be. Physically I’m in Australia, in sunny Queensland. My heart (and body) was born and will always be rooted in Zimbabwe. Spiritually I am overjoyed- I am not perfect in my attempt at righteousness, but I am with God. Mentally and emotionally I am happy and I have learnt to build a bridge between each of my locations as they are inter-dependent. So I am physically in Australia- and everywhere in between!

How am I?

Look introspectively- look inside yourself.

Hold a mirror up to your soul and what do you see? I am more than well and more than content. I am happy. And I attribute my happiness to my faith; my love; our puppy; my family; my friends and me.  I have learnt to keep in check with myself and accountable to myself.

Why am I?

This is the most important question (in my humble opinion) – it shapes the answers to all former questions.

What is your purpose? Your calling? Is it self-assigned based on your talents, or is it driven by a higher power? I don’t quite know how to answer this question- and I think that’s ok. It’s an evolving answer. Some days I’m here to change the world – and to raise a litter of puppies (#Dreams #Goals) –  some days I’m ticking the “here” box. However, I know who I am, what I am, where I am, when I am, how I am and the why is coming. I can feel it!!

Love yourself in this moment and allow yourself to see how, what and why you are to yourself.

Ta

Career

Next Steps…

It always amuses me when people think that I sit at home behind my computer and blog for a living. They couldn’t be further from the truth. Blogging is a hobby that I kind of fell into – but if you check my LinkedIn profile you will see that I am Post Graduate Human Resources Professional with 10+ years of experience in various industries. Guess I am just dropping some knowledge for those, not in the know. Self-promotion never hurt anyone.

Anyway I feel like we are only midway through the first month of 2017 and already husbae and I are making bold moves. In the last blog post, I let you know that we have decided to stay in the capital city of Australia. I am sitting in the dark (don’t ask me why) writing this as I embrace the fact that today was my last day with my current employer.

When I started with the organisation I was still a young bushy eyed twenty-something girl who was itching to take on the world. Now I leave as a wife and a mother who is wanting to make her next solid career move. After six years, the people in my workplace have become like a second family, along with the family ups, downs, drama and laughter. Yes, you read right, six years – which is almost unheard of for the millennial generation.

So why did I stay? I stayed because I enjoyed my role, I liked the people I worked with (that is always a plus), the role was challenging and kept pushing me to do more and grow.

Initially, when I broke the news to my boss and colleagues – they asked why I was leaving? I’ve always found this to be an awkward question – it’s like you have dumped someone and now you have to explain why you can’t be together anymore. There I go avoiding the question again… So, to answer the question, having been with my current organisation for six years I was starting to feel like part of the furniture. I could anticipate moves, conversation outcomes, how this person would react to this and that, budgets, tasks, and so forth.

One would think that after coming back to work from maternity leave I would just be content doing what I was doing before. Well as it turns out that just was not enough for me. After encountering and facing motherhood dead in the eye and returning to work, I really felt that I was no longer truly stretching myself and that I am capable of doing more.

Am I in my feelings? A little. Well for starters, it’s will be quite a transition to go from being a household name in one organisation to being a relatively unknown person in another. I have to learn how this new organisation’s people like to work and prove that they have made the best decision in appointing me into this business-critical role. If I am honest, I am nervous and slightly anxious, but at the same time I am confident that my skill set and experience will allow me to give them a real run for their money.

I am excited to say that my new role sees me take the lead role in talent acquisition. I will have complete responsibility and autonomy to attract, source, recruit, hire and onboard employees within the organisation.

I think it is important to mention that without having had the hands-on experience that I had at my current workplace I would not have been adequately prepared for this new role. Consequently, I would like to thank my current employer for the opportunity that they gave me to learn and grow and form some fantastic friends who I will continue to see in the industry.

In closing, to move away from your comfort zone and basically take a career gamble takes tremendous guts and self-confidence. I am fortunate to have my husbae, my family and friends cheering me on to use my God given talents to the fullest.

IamTinashe

Lifestyle

Decision Made…

It’s funny now, but, two years ago when we moved to Canberra we thought it was just going to be a two-year stint – an opportunity for us to advance our careers and then head back home to Brisbane. At that time, we were still very much social butterflies and our baby girl was just a twinkle in her dad’s eye.

What we didn’t count on was us falling in love with Canberra. Having now lived there, I can say with a straight face, it truly is Australia’s best-kept secret. We have found that it is a great place for a young family due to the close proximity of everything – you can never be late anywhere. This is definitely a big bonus for a couple renowned for arriving at “African time”.

When you meet other relocated Canberrans you quickly learn that they too moved for career opportunities and never left. At our age, it’s been relatively easy to meet new people and to have a good social network. This is useful for moments when we are suffering from cabin fever and want to be social.

The food, the food – don’t even get me started on the world-class selection of restaurants and take away joints. I wouldn’t expect anything less really, with the political landscape that Canberra commands. It’s vital that we have amazing places to take President Obama or other “important” people, should they visit.

I have given you a very basic rundown of why I love Canberra and you’re probably wondering why? I guess what I am trying to say (in a long winded way) is that we have decided to stay in Canberra.

I/we am not sure what the future holds, but for now we are very happy with our decision. So if you ever find yourself in Australia’s capital don’t be afraid to reach out – I am happy to play tour guide to sell our wonderful city.

Dress – McFayden Fashions, Belt – Sportsgirl, Heels – Target

IamTinashe

My Life

Onwards and Upwards…

I have been on hiatus from pretty much everything –  work, my blog and Social media. It’s been one hell of a year (worked hard, played semi-hard) and I wanted the down time with family in Brisbane – the sunshine state of Queensland.

Although I would love to say I just sat around and did nothing – it’s just not the case. I was doing this, that and the other here, there and everywhere. I feel like I need a holiday to get over my holiday – you know how it goes.

I fondly looked back on 2016 and I was pleased with my personal and professional growth. Modesty – some people have it, others don’t!!  I am looking forward to 2017 because there is so much I want to achieve and I can’t wait to get right into it.

I have never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions because… well… it’s all B.S.!! But I have some key areas of focus that will keep me on the straight and narrow – kicking major goals!

 

You can find these  listed below:

  • Drink more water. No time for being thirsty. Dehydration – no one has time to for this.
  • More sleep. Sleep isn’t just for the dead – I am not trying to age.
  • Shape Up. I had a baby, but that was over a year ago. Time to tone up, baby girl. Tone. Up.
  • Save More, spend less. Until my bank account runneth over.

Writing it down and sharing it on this platform is half the battle, because it keeps me accountable to you lot – that alone will keep me motivated and moving forward. That being said – wishing you all a happy new year and I hope your dreams and aspirations are fulfilled in 2017!

Dress – Zara, Shoes – Zara

Iam Tinashe