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Infatuations | July 2017

In my free time  – which is rare – I like to shop online and put items I like in carts that I might eventually buy. Sometimes, these selected items make it home – other times they stay in the cart until they are sold out or I just get over them. Anyhow, I wanted to share with you the items that I am currently coveting.

Leather Snake Skin Boots

I first saw these when they came out priced at $259.95. I wanted them but being conscious of the money that I spend meant I was just going to ride it out. The wait has paid off and as you read this, these babies are on their way to me. I purchased them for 99.95 – you can’t wipe the smile off my face.

Wittner – $99.95 On Sale

Gucci T-shirt

I love the Vintage, weathered look and the Gucci Print on the front. It’s one of those pieces that I have imaged wearing in so many different ways.The real question is should I get black or white?

Gucci – $570

Leather Jacket

Keep an eye on my eBay page  – soon you will see that I am currently selling not one, not two, but three leather jackets. I am mostly getting rid of them because I feel like they are not flattering to my new shape as a mummy. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing because it means I am now back on the market for a leather jacket.

I have seen a few that I have lusted over here, here and here but this jacket from Wittner has my heart – again its heavily discounted it so I am seriously considering it. With matched black hardware, this jacket is a luxe investment in contemporary classic dressing.

Wittner – $229.95 On Sale

Statement Earrings

I go through phases with earrings. Sometimes I am really subtle, other times not so much. Right now I am really feeling statement earrings! Since they are cheap as chips and make one a BIG statement, I am purchasing two!

Lovisa – $29.95 (Fringe earrings)

In My Humble Opinion

4:44 | Album Release

Those who know me know that I have always loved music. Music has accompanied me through the highs and lows of life and often given me the inspiration to want more for myself and to do better.

When I heard that Jay – Z was going to release a new album, I wasn’t really sure how to feel. To me, the last album was mildly entertaining – it felt forced, i.e. a track titled Tom Ford. This release back in 2013 had me wondering – has he lost his touch?

As a long time fan of Jay – Z, I was looking for something different. In this new album, titled 4:44, he didn’t disappointment – he came out dropping word bombs! The subject matter is on-point and he seems to have matured. The album content is like an early Christmas present for people aged 30+ who are going through real life events – sexuality, marriage, babies, buying houses, cars, working 9- 5. His audience has grown and Jay Z talks right at us – offering game.

I believe in full disclosure – and if I am honest as I write this I haven’t even listened to the album. I tried to sign up to Tidal just so that I could listen to the album – but being the true hustler that is Jay – Z, he was ahead of us and blocked that ability. I guess that’s what we get for “not supporting black businesses” right? Apparently, there will be a mass release later on the week.

Thank God for social media! I have pretty much heard all of the songs on YouTube (not in their entirety, just snippets) so I have a rough idea of the beats and production. Without the ability to listen to the music, I turned my attention to the lyrics and boy oh boy are they JUICY! Reading the lyrics you get the sense that Jay – Z is at a point in his life where he just doesn’t care what anyone thinks – letting it all hang out there – on his terms.

The key messages I have taken away, just from reading and absorbing the lyrics, are:

Generational wealth. My husband and I often speak about this at home. The reason people of colour often have to start from scratch every time is because parents don’t have enough or do to survive their lifetime – often unable to give their children a head start. Yes, history is responsible for a lot of this, but what are we going to do in our present to ensure that our kids’ future is different? Better education, Investing money for long-term gain etc.

That elevator incident? Solange whooped Jay – Z’s ass because he cheated (or was cheating) on Beyonce. On the album Jay – Z publicly apologises – they have moved on and as spectators I guess we need to move on too (yikes, the Beyhive will be mad as hell).

Like most of us, Jay isn’t feeling the new Kanye. We want the old Kanye, the soulful Kanye.

In the album his mother comes out as a lesbian and he supports her. Hip – hop is notorious for discriminating those that choose to have same-sex relationships – as a hip-hop heavyweight highlighting this subject matter in a positive light is important.

That’s all that I could get my head around for now, without having a listening party in my car as I commute to and from work. I just can’t wait until this album is widely available! Ten songs, thirty – six minutes long and full of loaded content. 4:44 is black art that will take a long time to be fully dissected.

One other thing – before I sign off,  I feel like I need to apologise to Beyonce. I have always been a massive fan of her – until ironically she released Lemonade. Back then, I thought she had become a sellout. A sell out because I thought she had created this fictional story of infidelity in her marriage to sell records. Jay – Z’s release of 4:44 proves otherwise. I am sure I am not the only one who is listening to “Lemonade” with a new found appreciation.

Marriage is hard – you and your spouse need to be reading the same book, on the same page, turning to read the next chapter in unison. Above all, it is nice to see a black family who, against all odds, remained strong and most importantly, together.

My Life

What’s Going On?

Just like that we find ourselves in the middle of the year. Anyone else feel like they blinked and they jumped from January to mid-2017?

As I write this our toddler is taking her nap, husbae is on the computer working, and I am lounging on the couch, typing this blog post from my iPhone.

I was looking over my blog site and realized that I hadn’t been giving this area of my life some love – so let’s fix that right now. Let me give you a run down on what has been happening.

Natural hair in corporate Australia is still a rarity, with many professional women choosing straight hairstyles achieved using wigs or weaves. I’ve always been someone that marches to their own beat – so for the month of May I wore my hair in Havana twists. I have worn this hairstyle countless times, but if I am honest, this time around I really wasn’t feeling it. No matter how many YouTube videos I watched I couldn’t inspire myself to really rock the hair. It weighed me down – maybe even changing the way I felt and acted. It was weird, I just could not shake the feeling. This month I am going to opt for something low key and easy.

If you watch my Instagram videos you know that I have been putting in work to get back in shape. This hard work has slowly slowly been paying off and I have found myself fitting into some of my pre – mommy clothes. Examples of last months highlights below:

Last month I purchased a Fitbit and you know what –  I have not looked back. It honestly has been one of  the best decisions ever. We have created a group of 8 women and it’s game on all day, every day. Each day I literally give it my all just so that I can hopefully be crowned the winner at the end of the week. But it’s hard – these people do not let up!  My competitive streak keeps pushing me harder so I am hitting targets and shredding some of this baby fat. No more looking at the scales on the verge of tears.

There you have it, a summary of the last month!

Of course, I am still busy juggling being a wife, mother, working professional and a woman who still wants a social life. The only way I survive and accomplish it all is by living in the moment and giving my all to each task that I set myself.

How are you doing?


Mini Me

Things I Have Learnt Living With A Toddler

When I look at my daughter now I can’t believe that this time last year we were clapping at the fact she could sit by herself – back then it seemed like quite the achievement.

She has grown so much and these days she is Miss Independent – eating, walking, and running unaided, and her vocabulary is growing broader with each day that passes.

Can I just say – Hi five if you’re a new parent! You’re going a great job! Or perhaps you’re still enjoying uninterrupted sleep, and will have kids one day. Or your kids are grown and you are just reading this to relive the experience through someone else’s eyes. Either way, I am glad that you are here.

Living with a toddler can, at times, be very challenging but all so rewarding! So let me share the top ten things I have learnt living with a toddler.

  1. Try moving them when they don’t want to go to said place. It’s impossible! My daughter just turns her legs to jelly. Moving her only makes her drag her legs on the floor. To move her I have to physically pick her up.
  2. You can be laughing one moment – really enjoying each other’s company – and next moment a tantrum is in full effect. It’s hard to comprehend the full range of feelings that this little person can experience. i.e. giving her a pink spoon when she wanted the green spoon can set her off. Don’t laugh at her – I made that mistake once- it only makes things worse. Haha
  3. Regular Sleep and food are necessary – without them you will be dealing with a little monster. Think this goes for bub and mum really.
  4. They will push boundaries. It’s subtle at first but every now and again you will find yourself saying, stop, no, don’t – regularly!
  5. They love a good song. Turn on a tune – any tune – could be a Good Guys commercial – they will dance or start waving their hands in delight.
  6. Silence is scary. It’s almost certain they are up to something naughty. No, you’re not paranoid.
  7. When I go grocery shopping alone it feels like a mid week vacation. Hear a child crying – a similar cry to your child’s in aisle six – and you just about have a panic attack – “how did they find me?”
  8. Household appliances – they are no longer just for the invented use, they will find ways to use them as a toy. i.e. now that she can open the fridge on her own, I have to close the fridge 50 times in a row because she likes to look at what it in the fridge, point at random things and say “more”. Cute the first time – not so much the 50th time.
  9. You sit back and reminisce about all those times you needed to set an alarm to wake up in the morning. Let’s all take a moment to laugh.
  10. All above are true but I would do it all in a heartbeat for the love, hugs, kisses and joy that the little princess gives us.

Have you had the toddler experience? I would love to about it…

For those wondering Tasima’s outfit details are For those wondering Tasima’s outfit details are Denim Shirt – Cotton On, Tutu – Kardashian Kids Collection, Shoes – Zara.


In My Humble Opinion

A Reminder: Blood, Bone, Melanin…

My parents came to Australia with four suitcases, three kids, and dreams of giving us a better life.

As a product of this migration I can easily say that we got the best of the best when it came to education and opportunities – all because my parents sacrificed a lot and worked hard. Now, as a parent, I am in awe – what they did was the definition of selflessness.

Generally speaking, I had very few reminders that I was different – different meaning that I am black and of African decent. However, every now and again I was reminded of my difference and each time it left a bad taste in my mouth. So, at a young age I developed the ability to a identify racism, even the subtle type. As an adult I can say that it has advanced to being almost at super power level – the X- Men kind.

So, what is it like being a black woman in Australia you ask? Well, I can sum it up in two words – Bitter Sweet.

Overall, people are welcoming and embracing of the diversity that I represent in my brown leather. However, I would also say that for every positive experience as an African Australian woman I equally experience subtle discrimination based on my skin colour, on a weekly basis. People fear me based on my appearance alone. For example, they might fear that I may be aggressive without provocation, illiterate, and the one I love most – not able to speak English. No matter how much I dress up, how much expensive perfume I spray, the degrees I acquire, the work experience I have and the love of life I demonstrate – I still have the ability to make some people very uncomfortable.

If I had my radar on, I would probably identify subtle racism on a daily basis. Whether it’s shopping at the supermarket, putting fuel in my car, in my work environment, ordering coffee, walking into an expensive department store, driving my car – the possibilities are endless. If I became ultra sensitive I would literally never leave the house. My coping mechanism is to remain unbothered by the comments, actions and hate – just brush that dirt off my shoulders.

I could document all the experiences I have had – but it’s a waste of my time and my energy. Plus, I really don’t want to relive it either.

Racism still exists. Point blank period.

I know there’s probably a cohort of people who are rolling their eyes to the back of their head as they read this – so let me address you. To be clear, I am not wanting your agreement. I am not even looking for an argument. I am simply sharing my experience living in Australia as a black woman. If you are not a black woman – you need not comment, as you just don’t know.

In all honesty, I can deal with being a black woman in Australia. I have been dealing with it since my parents left the shores of Africa. In fact, I forget that I am a black woman, but every now and again I get a stark reminder. It hurts, and at times in the privacy of my home I have even shed a tear. I have to let the emotion out so that I can regroup and go about my business.

To say it’s frustrating is an understatement – I just can’t help but ask – Still? Still people of colour have to feel like this? My grand parents probably experienced the most blatant forms of racism. My parents – they have been through it, my generation is still experiencing it, and more than likely with the way the world is today – the baton will be passed on to our children and our children’s’ children. Why?  Where are people learning this? Why is it acceptable? What causes people to form those beliefs? How can we over come it?

As long as one race feels superior to another race, racism will continue to thrive.

Given my own personal experiences I have never been one to judge someone based on their outward appearance (skin colour, age, dress etc). I judge people based on how they treat me and how they make me feel after an interaction with them.

I leave this blog post with a quote from an inspiring woman (you might know her) who was once the First Lady of United States of America – Michelle Obama, ‘when they go low, we go high”


My Life

Survival Of The Organised…

Randomly, I remembered my grandmother saying a woman must have a good bed with a comfy mattress, matching delicate under garments, expensive luggage for when she travels, and cooking/kitchen utensils that would be the envy of every woman that visits.

Now that I am older, I can appreciate where she was coming from.

I love my bed – and when I lay down to sleep in my bed it feels like I am floating mid-air on a marshmallow. Unfortunately, my alarm clock is the jealous type. Why, you ask? Well, just as I am getting into my sleep groove, and sweet dreams are showing in full colour, my alarm goes off – loud and proud. Like, seriously!? I can’t deal with jealousy.

Both hubby and I have been “head down – bum up” kicking some pretty monumental career goals (if I may say so myself). This has been our reality for the last two weeks now – a real blur. What do they say – fail to plan, plan to fail? We were not taking any chances.

This dedication and commitment doesn’t come easy because we have had to make some sacrifices to get to where we want to be.

It’s funny because I remember back in the day we would look forward to the weekend, as it was an opportunity for us to catch up with friends, consume ridiculous amounts of adult beverages and literally dance the night away.

These days on the weekends we just want to sleep in (hello cloud 9 marshmallow bed), hang around the house in our PJs pumping ourselves up to do it all again next week.

Adulting Advanced Level 110! I think we have moved on from just plain adulting – surviving and fending for ourselves.

At this stage, I may have already been admitted to a mental asylum BUT four key actions keep me sane on a weekly basis. They are listed below:

1. Select all clothes for the week, iron them and have them ready to go (undergarments included).
2. Meal preparation – cook all the dinners for the week ahead and freeze them.
3. Drink at least 2litres of water and get a minimum of 7 hours sleep.
4. Engage in at least 30mins of exercise or meditating daily.

Although I’ve outlined the answers to my sanity, I would be interested to find our what coping mechanisms you have put in place to survive in this concrete jungle. Hit me up in the comments section.