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Fashion, Maternity, My Life

2015 Looking Back|Moving Forward to 2016…

Boom!

Just like that we are in the second week of 2016. We last had a conversation in 2015 so let me begin by wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!

Most of you are back at work, studies or whatever it is you do. I am on maternity leave doing the best job in the world – being a mother to our baby girl.

2015 was such a magical year for me, so I wanted to look back and reflect on the year that was. Better late than never right?

…lets get started.

I guess the first question to be answered is, how did it all begin?

Well, I remember it just it was yesterday. It was at the end of 2014 and I was sitting with family enjoying the last of the festive season and I declared, ‘this time next year things will be very different!’ I didn’t know how, but I knew that change was imminent. Below are some of the highlights of my 2015.

Relocation

In January  hubby and I relocated to the capital city of Australia, Canberra. Together we said goodbye to family and friends and started afresh in a brand new city. Just the two of us. This is the first time that we had to completely depend on each other in order for us to get settled. Think apartment hunting, furniture shopping, electricity set up, internet connection etc. Lets just say we got to know each other really really well real quick – understanding and appreciating our differences in order to function as a well oiled machine.

Engagement

In April we became engaged. At the time I was fighting a nasty cold that just wouldn’t go away. I was covered in Vix, had tissues close by because my nose was running faster that Hussain Bolt. A sight for sore eyes. When my hubby proposed it was a complete surprise as I thought it was just going to be our regular Friday date night. Long story short, I said YES! I mean this man had me the moment he said, “hello” all those years ago.

Pregnancy

I took one picture with hubby and everyone went crazy asking if I was expecting. I couldn’t understand it and was a little offended that people thought I looking fat. Chubbier than usual. It was the weekend we were letting our hair down at a festival and eating rubbish food and drinking sugary adult beverages that make you bloated. In the photo I was wearing a horizontally striped dress so that didn’t do me any favours. At the time I just laughed off the speculation and attributed it to being a food baby. Three weeks later I missed period. Long story short our baby girl was born 21st November 2015.

Traditional Wedding

“Dowry, Lobola, Roora” – the bride prize paid by a prospective husband.

In July we were traditionally married. I had been a witness to other traditional weddings – but it was an absolute pleasure to take part in the process as the bride. I got to not only see the process but also gain a deeper understanding of my culture. I am proud that we kept our culture alive even whilst still in diaspora.

From that day in July in eyes of our family and friends we are now man and wife. We are still yet to have our white wedding to legalise our marriage but we are in the process of arranging that. Stay tuned.

Glory be to God! That right there was a look back at 2015.

So whats in store for 2016?

Well I don’t believe in new years resolutions because its all a load of B.S. Time is man made, so the turn of the clock past midnight doesn’t automatically mean you can say, “new year, new me”. Personally I strive to constantly be working something that we will create the best version of myself. That being said I would like to share what I am working towards in 2016. It goes a little something like this:

  • Gotta have faith. I want to attend church at least once a month. If I can go to more services – GREAT!
  • Eat my salad, no dessert. Daily exercise is coming back in a big way. I have now had the baby, obtained clearance from my doctor and its time to loose the baby fat, slow and steady.
  • Knowledge is power.  I want to read more, more and more. Being on maternity leave I want to take advantage of this opportunity and read books that I have been eyeing off.
  • Cherishing God. Family. Hustle. In that order. Be the best daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend that I can be.

I spent most of 2015 pregnant and dressing the growing bump was one of the most exciting challenges I have ever faced. I get goosebumps thinking about it. I leave you with images of my five favourite maternity outfits of 2015.

I hope your 2016 is off to a flying start!

IamTinashe

Maternity, My Life, Sisterhood

My Birth Story – Let Go, Let God…

Hello?

It’s me.

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I was wondering if after all this time you would like to read this blog post to go over everthing.

They say time between posts is supposed to bring us closer. I find that hard to believe…. because I haven’t done much posting.

….Hello?

I have been procrastinating writing this post because my main focus has been on getting to know our new baby girl and adjusting to parenthood.

Our baby girl is growing fast and with a fast accumulating sleep debt its hard to believe that our baby is now over a month old – time flies when your a new parent.

That being said, I think its now time for me to share my birth story.

For those who have not had children, don’t let this post intimidate you. I am sharing my story to give you an insight on my birth story – knowledge, no matter how irrelevant it may seem to you at the time  – is power.

Pre-Labor

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I finished full time employment in week 38 of my pregnancy, so I had a solid two weeks at home – to nest. It will be fun they said. The first week was very difficult as I was suffering separation anxiety from work. Weird I know, most people would be thrilled to be at home, sleeping in, watching day time TV and relaxing. With me? Well you are dealing with someone who has worked in some capacity from the age of 14. I was missing the action – you know the hustle and bustle of corporate life. Most of all I missed the idea of getting up in the morning and getting dressed to the nines and going somewhere.  At home I cooked, cleaned and watched copious amounts of ratchet television.

By week two at home, I was willing the baby to come early (week 39) to cure the boredom. I kept myself busy by getting my hair done, massages, pedicures, wax appointments, creating a belly cast and brunch outings with friends.

None of  these activities quenched my thirst to be close to the work action, drama and politics.

The Labor

Two nights before I went into labor my husband became fearful that the baby was going to come. Why? I was cleaning everything, really getting in there – think pantry, fridge being cleaned from top to bottom, vacuuming and mopping daily etc. etc. – nesting as they say.

The night before going into labor I decided that I didn’t want to deliver the baby with the grey crotchet braids that had been installed a week earlier. I joked to hubby that knowing this baby, the night I undo my crotched braids, I will go into labor the next day. We laughed and laughed and laughed.

To my horror that is exactly what happened. With my hair in buns wrapped under a scarf as I slept. My water broke around 8am in the morning on Friday 20th November 2015.

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At the time, I really wasn’t sure if this was the real thing. I second guessed myself and was a little paranoid that I may have just peed myself. *eyes wide open in shock* Then I remembered the content covered in the prenatal classes and I knew it was real. Promptly I shook hubby who was dead to the world next to me to wake up. When he heard the news, he didn’t say a word – he simply jumped out of bed and ran to have a shower. I was a little bit in shock given the day we had been waiting for was finally here. My bags were already packed so I decided to have a shower and do my make up for the labor. Pain is no reason to not look your best.

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After getting ready, I decided to call the hospital to update them on my situation and to let them know that we were on our way. Contractions at this point were not painful nor were they that close to each other so the midwives advised that I stay at home until midday. That was still 3 hours away.

To pass the time along I tried to eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast – but the adrenaline was rushing through me and my appetite was gone. I managed to devour a whole bowl of fruit, but that was about it. That took about 30 mins.

With about two and half hours to go, I removed and stored the 3,000 plus photos on my Iphone so that I could take lots of pictures and videos during the birth process. I checked my hospital bag to make sure that everything I thought I would need was there.  I also spent some time watching the 24 hour news channel. Basically anything that would distract me from what was ahead of me.

As I was lounging on the couch I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Its only then that I realised that I was still wearing a scarf on my heard, hair in buns underneath. A mild panic came over me as I made my way to my hair suitcase. Yes my hair suitcase! I went there looking for a lace front wig that could pass as my own hair. I settled for a curly bob – figured that would be suitable to meet my new born baby. Truth be told I just needed something….anything.

imageIt was around half past 12 that we headed out the door on our way to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, I convinced hubby to stop by McDonalds so that I could eat my last ever Big Mac burger before the arrival of our baby girl.  After devouring the burger and fries in the hospital car park we arrived at the birth centre. Its there that we filled out the paperwork, were allocated to our birth suite and got ourselves settled. It was now around 2pm and the contractions were starting to make their presence felt.

It felt like I blinked and 8 hours had passed. The contractions were looking me right in the eye and testing my limits.

I guess my mum was a little nervous given the time passed and at around 10pm my mother arrived from interstate for some moral support.  It had now been 14 hours since labor started and I wa still at it.

The contractions were now coming thick and fast, yet I perservered.  For those who are yet to experience labor contractions the best way to describe it is like this – its like being kicked in the back by a dinosaur then having an elephant trample your stomach. No exaggeration.

I was in labor for a total of 26 hours and at the 18th hour I requested some epidural – at this point I was beyond exhausted and just didn’t have the energy to endure the pain. The application of the epidural was not only uncomfortable it was painful too – but with the epidural I managed to have some composure and get some much needed rest in between contractions.

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In the early hours of the morning our baby girl had some bowel movement and was now facing head up, making the delivery complicated. It’s at this point the doctor and midwife made the decision that I would have an emergency C- section. This was not something I was looking forward to. I was absolutely shattered as I thought I would be able to give birth naturally – especially after a 26 hour effort.

The thought of having surgery, let alone the healing process had tears streaming down my face. Up until now I had never been in a hospital let alone had an operation – so to say I was scared was an understatement.

As the doctor assembled the theatre team, I lay in the birth suite not saying much, looking at the ceiling basically throwing myself a pity party. Hubby was beside himself didn’t really know what to say or to do to console me. Its only my mum who simply stated, “you better snap out of it, if they don’t operate it puts the baby’s life and your life at risk“.  This was the sound of reason I needed. As those words marinated in my mind The pity party came to an abrupt end and I plucked up the courage and strength to face whatever came my way.

The Cesarean

As they wheeled my bed into theatre I remember counting the lights above me. Call it a coping mechanism, maybe even a way to fight back tears. When I arrived in the theatre I was surprised by the number of people that were there (at least 18 people) and the high level of lighting in the room. A heaven for those wanting to take selfies with optimum lighting. Had it been a difference circumstance I would have been thrilled to be here – snapping away.

One thing that I thought was really sweet was that each of the 18 people in the theater came and introduced themselves to me and let me know what they would be doing in the process. I guess as a form of distraction and reassurance that I was in good hands.

Our baby girl Tasima Ariah Sigauke arrived into the world on Saturday, November 21st 2015 at 9:19am weighing 3.25 kilos. Hubby was by my side through out the whole process literally holding my hand.

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Seeing her for the first time, I was in oar. I could not believe that I created her and she came out of me. Weirdly I thought I would have cried tears of happiness and relief, but I didn’t. I just stared. It was like an out of body experience. Even though I was laying in the theater room it was the best day of my life.

I had worked myself up so much about the operation but to my surprise the C- section was completed within minutes. I was cut open, the baby was retrieved and I sewn back up in 17 mins. I was conscious yet sedated from the waist down through out the whole process. To describe a c-section I would say its like when you have a big handbag and are rummaging at the bottom of the bag to find something. Your body is the bag and you are the one being rummaged.

Discharge

I was discharged from the hospital the following Monday after a three day stay in hospital. Recovering from a c- section was challenging with a new born demanding attention, but I was lucky to have my mum and my husband who were by my side every step of the way. Thankfully I have healed from the c- section and have gained my independence once more.

At times I am sleep deprived but my days are now filled doing the best job in the world – being a mother to Tasima and watching her grow and discover the world.

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I debated about writing this post given that its such a personal experience but I hope my reflection and experience somehow inspires some of you to NOT fear the birthing process, and instead embrace it.

At this moment I would like to thank the doctors, midwives and nurses from Canberra Centenary Hospital for Women and Children for their exceptional care.

To my husband and mother, you are the wind beneath my wings.

Lets start preparing for baby number two!  🙂

IamTinashe xoxo

Fashion, Maternity, My Life

The Butterfly Effect…

I am in the last few weeks of being pregnant. How time flies right? I mean it could be worse – an elephant is pregnant for about 22 months.

Over the nine months that have passed I have gotten used to dressing my bump and carrying it around. As my pregnancy comes to an end I think I am going to miss my baby bump.

At the same time I am looking forward to delivering the baby because I feel some what trapped. I have stopped work, travelling interstate or overseas is a no no, just left with the surroundings around me. This is all because I could deliver literally at any moment and need to be in close proximity to the hospital – yikes!

Each day I find myself thinking about how things are going to be once she is here. What will labour be like? What will she look like? What kind of personality will she have? How will our lives change? Will we cope? So on and so on. Its all so unknown and for a control freak like me you can imagine how I am feeling.

No longer will I be a daughter, sister and wife – I will be taking on the additional title and responsibility of being someone’s mama. I am scared, anxious and excited – all at the same damn time.

Well my mama resume isn’t completely blank – laugh if you want to but in the past I have been a mother to fur babies and I loved them to bits. None of those animals under my care were ever unkept, malnutritioned let alone died in my care. I know, I know, its hardly comparable experience but it should count for something.

Being a mother to a human being that was created and formed inside of me well it comes with its own special responsibilities. Ideally I want to raise a law abiding citizen that positively contributes to society.

The stakes are high though because if we get it wrong as a parent we could have a drug addicted child who sells their body for cash to supply their habit or worse still a career criminal – who spends their life in and out of jail.

No judgement to those that have walked that walk and gotten their life back on track.

My imagination is pretty out there  – so yes the above is dramatic and definitely worst case scenario for any parent.

Parenting can be hard. I have heard it can be exhausting, terrifying, confusing and heartbreaking. It changes your body, your priorities, and  your financial situation.

Even with all that, I still think will be the best job in the world!

Necklace – Lovisa, Jumpsuit – Asos, Heels – Witnner

Fashion, Maternity, My Life

Not Complicated, Its Simple…

If you ever had a conversation with me before I was pregnant I would often say comments like, “if you are comfortable then its not fashion“. I love fashion – live and breath it but of late I have had a temporary 180 degree shift on my views. You see my last weeks of my pregnancy have humbled me and forced me to resist the urge to buy more maternity wear and really just focus on comfort.

Which brings me to the outfit you see before you today – yes I have given in to leggings. Truth is I have always had a love and hate relationship with leggings.

I think they are appropriate for the gym, long international flights and lounging at home  – but highly inappropriate as a fashion staple – you know when you are mingling with the general public in social setting.

Why? Well the thin material for starters can be pretty unforgiving if you want the brutal truth. No one and I mean no one wants to see your undergarments when you bend over to pick up something from the ground.

If you are wearing them daily just because, I am sorry to say this to you but you have been defeated. Yes I said it. You are admitting to yourself and others around you – that you just don’t know how to dress any more.

Sounds harsh I know, but I am just being real. Apparently people you considered to be friends didn’t have the heart to tell you the honest truth.

Disclaimer: Unless of course of are pregnant. That is the only time that you have an endless supply of  “get out of leggings jail free card’ – consider them a safety blanket. Double standards, I know.

What I will say if you are ever in a situation were you are forced – at gunpoint – to wear leggings, just make sure your top covers your front and back lady parts. Modesty is vital.

Knit Top – Country Road, Maternity Leggings – ASOS, Boots – Wittner

Maternity, Sisterhood

We Are Not Lucky We Are Blessed…

Looking at the photos above its hard to believe that its been over a month since I had my very first baby shower.

Whilst it seemed like an impossible task with 80 guests confirming their attendance – some very special people lent a helping hand and were able to make it all come together with grace and style.

Hormones can be quite a trip when you are pregnant, on the day of the baby shower i was really tired to begin with but its more so the homes that contributed to the sense of feeling overwhelmed by the love and support from these phenomenal women.

Picture this women from Brisbane, Canberra, Melbourne, Sydney and New Zealand gathered to celebrate with me. They came not only to shower us with gifts but to also share their words of wisdom. Schooling me on what it means to be a mother and a wife. How one can balance the two so that neither party ever felt abandoned etc etc.

It was deep. A real out of body experience – like is this really happening? Its in this moment that I realised I was now officially entering womanhood. It made me question a lot of what i had been doing all this time. With motherhood was this going be the emancipation of IamTinashe?

I have a real thirst for knowledge so I took it all in. It may all not meant a whole lot to me at the time, but with more experience and exposure to the subject matters they touched on I am sure it will be a great point of reference.

Deep breaths. Inhale through the nose. Exhale out the nose. Why? Its a lot. But I am ready to embrace the challenge head-on.

I couldn’t sign out from this post without thanking those that supported the process and those that showed their support -you know who you are. I thank you. Put simply you could have been been anywhere in the world, but your there with me – I appreciate that.

I will single our one person, my mother. I wanted to give a heartfelt thank you to my mum. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. This woman couldn’t stop, she wouldn’t stop. For weeks we had  teleconferences, exchanged emails and messages just so we could make the baby shower vision come to life. I know you are beside yourself with excitement with the arrival of your first grandchild. So mama thank you for your time, patience and hard work, all these wonderful memories would not have been possible without you.

Earrings, Necklace and Bracelet – Lovisa, Leopard Print Dress – Witchery – Nude Pumps – Wittner.

Fashion, Maternity Advice, My Life

Not Excusable, But Plausible…..

My sincere apologies for the lack of posts. It’s hard to believe that we are getting closer and closer to meeting our baby girl – were has the time gone?

Let me just say, when it comes to blogging my heart wants to, but after a long day in the office my body just isn’t a willing participant. All my body wants to do is vege out in front of the TV so I can watch mind numbing reality and ratchet TV shows.

As for my mind? Well think it’s safe to say that baby brain is real.

You see before I was pregnant I used to think “baby brain” was a load of absolute rubbish – an excuse used by pregnant women to get away with ridiculous behaviour. Harsh, I know.

You would be pleased to know that this point of view has now changed. Having personally experienced “baby brain” myself, I am a lot more sympathetic and understanding.

Some examples of my baby brain episodes include but are not limited to:

Exhibit A:

After a grocery shopping trip I unpacked the goods, but some how misplaced my debit credit card. I turned the house upside down looking for the card. A couple of days later when I was just about to call the bank to cancel the card, my mother called me and said that she was cleaning out the freezer and found my debt credit card in the freezer.

Exhibit B:

The wind has been quite harsh in Canberra making my lips drier than the Sahara desert. To fix the problem, I decided to go to a local drug store to pick up some moisturising lip balm for my lips. Seems simple right? Wrong. I stood in the lip gloss aisle for about 20 minutes trying to decide which Chapstick was best for my dried lips. For the life of me I could not decide. In the end I decided to purchase four as I just could not make a decision. Much to my frustration I walked away with a cherry, watermelon, raspberry and strawberry moisturising lip balm. You can imagine at this point I just wanted out of the drug store.

Exhibit C:

By far the most dangerous I thing I have done during my baby brain period is arrive home from work, insert my key into the lock, unlock and open the apartment door, walk into apartment, carry out my night time routine and  fall asleep – all whilst my house keys are still in the lock on the other side. To my horror hubby found them the next morning  when he was heading out to work. Baby brain could have put us in a compromising position.

The “baby brain” evidence is slowly mounting again me. Lets just say hubby is keeping a close eye on me as my pregnancy advances.

Hat– Top Shop, Dress – Temt, Pumps – Wittner