One sleepless night I laying in bed just looking through photos that I have been posting during my pregnancy on Instagram. One particular photo caught my eye – a picture of a Big Mac taken roughly about 20 weeks ago.
The background story of that post was I fought the urge to eat a Big Mac burger for 24 hours. I was not going to go down without a fight but it consumed me. It’s all I thought about, dreamt about – but what’s confusing is I don’t eat meat, I am a pesceterian.
These pregnancy hormones flowing through my body were seriously messing with me. So much so the next day at lunch time I succumbed to the craving and had my first Big Mac in ten years. The first since I swore never to eat meat, let alone the lowest of the low – processed meat.
* the intoxicating Big Mac smell filled my office with its alluring aroma*
I have to admit as I opened the burger box I was a little nervous. I took a pregnant pause and just looked at the burger asking myself, “are you really going to eat this?” I even tried to talk myself out of it, “it’s not too late you can save yourself Tinashe!”
I blinked and before I knew it, the burger was in my hands and my mouth was wide open. As I took my first bite into the Big Mac burger I had the bin within range in case I had the urge to throw up and my lemon lime bitters close by in case I needed to wash it down.
None of those things were necessary.
The first bite felt like an out of body experience. The flavours surrounded my mouth and awakened tastebuds that had laid domaint for sometime. The burger had just the right amount of Big Mac sauce, the pickles cemented the flavour and the crunchy lettuce – assured me of the freshness. Absolutely mind blowing – why have I been depriving myself? I took smaller bites to make the moment last, but before I knew it – I had eaten it all! So much for not eating meat.
Since tasting the burger it has been an ongoing craving of mine. At first I would have it once a fortnight – that lasted about three months as I really wanted to make sure I was eating right. What I put on during the pregnancy I would have to work hard to lose once I delivered the baby. Looking at my closet full of clothes – which no longer fit – scared me to obey.
I was giving myself regular pats on the pack for being so self disciplined, congratulating myself for excerising exceptional self control – as you do, nothing wrong with self praise.
This all came undone about 8 weeks ago.
Basically I have been having one Big Mac a week. It’s like an itch I need to scratch. As the day approaches that I am to eat the Big Mac I can feel my whole mood change, excitement levels reaching a natural high.
I have told myself that since I have a few more weeks to go until I am due – I am going to give into my body and give it what it craves. BUT the moment I give birth I am cutting off the weekly Big Mac supply, just like that. We will leave it in the past as a distant pregnancy memory.
Hi! My name is Tinashe and it’s been 32 hours since my last Big Mac burger.